Tag Archives: Lansky

Decisions are more likely to be sustainable and to preserve the quality of family relationships when they are perceived as “fairly derived”.

Asset sharing families often struggle with questions of fairness. It’s a familiar dilemma: Must we treat all family members the same (equally) in order to be fair? An affirmative response requires ignoring differences between people and this may be perceived … Continue reading

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Listening does not require agreement. Sometimes people just want to be heard.

Family members occasionally resist really listening to each other out of fear that listening signifies agreement. Not true. In fact, good communication may occasionally be reinforced by the conscious intention to not express agreement or disagreement, but simply to listen. … Continue reading

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“Silence Is Golden”, “Pandora’s Box”, “Peace At Any Price” undermine good communication.

All of these aphorisms have a similar goal: To suppress open communication about potentially disturbing topics. But suppressed communication does not mean an issue is not present. On the contrary, it is often the things we don’t talk about that … Continue reading

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Good communication is more important to asset sharing families than to others.

While of course good communication is important for all families , the stakes are higher for asset sharing families. Communication breakdown, conflict, and family dissension may affect not only family relationships, but business integrity and  the  livelihood of family members, … Continue reading

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What Promotes Change?

I noted in my earlier blog three factors that inhibit change in a family: Inertia, Fear of the Unknown and Psychological Reactance. Here are three guidelines for promoting change. Vision and Values Clarifying vision and values through family meetings or … Continue reading

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What Inhibits Change in Families?

Family leaders are in the business of promoting change in their families, yet change is often difficult to implement. Here are three reasons why: The Principle of Inertia Newton’s first law of motion states that to change direction, an object … Continue reading

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Rights of Man

I have been reading “Rights of Man” published in 1791 by Thomas Paine, one of the fathers of the American Revolution. This monograph was published as a commentary on events leading up to the French Revolution and the governance of … Continue reading

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What is A Healthy Family?

by David Lansky, Ph.D. I was asked the other day what I thought were the qualities of a healthy family…. Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. -         Leo Tolstoy. “I shall not … Continue reading

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Some Thoughts About Trust

Many people have written about trust in human relationships. I have collected some quotes on the topic and list some of my favorites below: Our distrust is very expensive. –Ralph Waldo Emerson The only way to make a man trustworthy … Continue reading

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When Trust Has Been Broken

No matter how well intentioned, family relationships can sometimes go awry and trust can be broken. There is no simple solution to rebuilding trust, but here are some guidelines: If you have violated another party’s trust, you must admit that … Continue reading

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